noelsquest

thisisthinprivilege:

fatbodypolitics:

unicornbl000d:

fatbodypolitics:

Before and after photos are one of those things that frustrate the hell out of me when it comes to fatness and weight loss. Seeing so many people congratulated on no longer having a “before body” is part of this frustration since we are taught to be in awe of those people who have an “after body.” Before images are always framed as being worse than the after image, in relation to weight loss it is the after image that always triumphs the before.
I don’t have a before body or even an after body; it’s a forever body. My body isn’t a failure and having an “after” image doesn’t make the before any less worthy / beautiful or as good of a body. 
You all can guess at the things I did between the before and after.
* There are numerous forms of before and after photos that don’t frame the before in a negative way but I have yet to see one with weight loss.

I’m sorry. I think that this is bullshit.
I worked my ass off to get my “after” body. I’m still chunky, and I’m okay with that. But don’t shame me for being proud of the work I put into losing weight. THIS IS THE SAME THING AS BODY SHAMING. Shaming me because I decided that I wanted to lose weight? If you are happy with the weight you’re at, then I am just as happy for you. But I lost weight the healthy way (for the most part) with exercise and healthy eating (..for the most part). Being proud of myself and losing weight does NOT make me a bad person.
So I will continue to be proud of my weight loss, and I will be proud of my “after” body.
My body. My rules. Stop policing.

Critiquing the way fat bodies are framed through before and after photos is not shaming people for the individual choices they make. This is especially true when you factor in that participating in diet culture is supported, condoned and praised by almost every social institution if you are a fat person. You would be hard pressed to find one that didn’t to be honest. Deconstructing the behaviors we participate in by how some bodies are framed as having more worth than others is how we subvert the things that oppress us.
I would also note that I said that all bodies regardless of their size have the same worth. Turning this into a conversation that reinforces the ideals of the system I am critiquing isn’t surprising since with any form of critique to that system those participating are taught to take it as a personal attack against their own choices, I can guarantee you that is not the case. If we are truthfully interested in working against oppression we need to remove ourselves from the systems of oppression we participate in and stop thinking critiques of that system are a personal attack of individual choices.
What a lot of these responses boil down to is people don’t want to be made aware of the systems of oppression they participate in. They want people who are oppressed to stay silent and not speak out against them.

^Everything Amanda said. Also:
I’m seeing a lot of people append “-shaming” to activities and characteristics that are highly valued by mainstream culture whenever they see any critique of the social dynamic that conveys the privileges they guard and treasure. And it’s total bullshit.
Critiquing thin privilege is not thin-shaming. The vast majority of those who claim it is prize their thin privilege and will fight to retain it, even at the cost of a system that oppresses, hurts, and kills fat people.
Critiquing sexist beauty standards and objectification is not shaming people who participate in them. The vast majority of those who claim it is prize the rewards conveyed by beauty privilege and don’t want to have to think more deeply about how the beauty culture that grants them privileges might disprivilege others. 
Critiquing diet culture is not shaming dieters. The only people who claim it is are people who want to believe their ‘hard work’ in achieving some level of thin privilege has some kind of real moral value, akin to learning a new skill, producing a work of art, completing a work of charity, earning a degree, etc.
This whole “$PRIVILEGE_X-shaming!” movement is little more than a manifestation of privilege denial. 
And can I just note it’s hilarious and typical of the diet-culture mindset that a dieter made Amanda’s awesome post — about how her fat ‘before’ body is her ‘after’ body — about them, with this dieter wringing their hands over how subverting the power of the before and after photo will divest them of their dieter privilege?
News to dieters: You’ve been lied to. You never had a ‘before’ body, and you don’t have an ‘after’ body. Sorry you’re pissed that some of us aren’t going to buy into the mythology of ‘after’ bodies being magically better than all the fatty ‘befores.’
And I’m not going to shed a single fucking tear over the fact that you can’t see how demanding we preserve your before/after weight loss mythology is inherently oppressive. 
-ArteToLife

thisisthinprivilege:

fatbodypolitics:

unicornbl000d:

fatbodypolitics:

Before and after photos are one of those things that frustrate the hell out of me when it comes to fatness and weight loss. Seeing so many people congratulated on no longer having a “before body” is part of this frustration since we are taught to be in awe of those people who have an “after body.” Before images are always framed as being worse than the after image, in relation to weight loss it is the after image that always triumphs the before.

I don’t have a before body or even an after body; it’s a forever body. My body isn’t a failure and having an “after” image doesn’t make the before any less worthy / beautiful or as good of a body. 

You all can guess at the things I did between the before and after.

* There are numerous forms of before and after photos that don’t frame the before in a negative way but I have yet to see one with weight loss.

I’m sorry. I think that this is bullshit.

I worked my ass off to get my “after” body. I’m still chunky, and I’m okay with that. But don’t shame me for being proud of the work I put into losing weight. THIS IS THE SAME THING AS BODY SHAMING. Shaming me because I decided that I wanted to lose weight? If you are happy with the weight you’re at, then I am just as happy for you. But I lost weight the healthy way (for the most part) with exercise and healthy eating (..for the most part). Being proud of myself and losing weight does NOT make me a bad person.

So I will continue to be proud of my weight loss, and I will be proud of my “after” body.

My body. My rules. Stop policing.

Critiquing the way fat bodies are framed through before and after photos is not shaming people for the individual choices they make. This is especially true when you factor in that participating in diet culture is supported, condoned and praised by almost every social institution if you are a fat person. You would be hard pressed to find one that didn’t to be honest. Deconstructing the behaviors we participate in by how some bodies are framed as having more worth than others is how we subvert the things that oppress us.

I would also note that I said that all bodies regardless of their size have the same worth. Turning this into a conversation that reinforces the ideals of the system I am critiquing isn’t surprising since with any form of critique to that system those participating are taught to take it as a personal attack against their own choices, I can guarantee you that is not the case. If we are truthfully interested in working against oppression we need to remove ourselves from the systems of oppression we participate in and stop thinking critiques of that system are a personal attack of individual choices.

What a lot of these responses boil down to is people don’t want to be made aware of the systems of oppression they participate in. They want people who are oppressed to stay silent and not speak out against them.

^Everything Amanda said. Also:

I’m seeing a lot of people append “-shaming” to activities and characteristics that are highly valued by mainstream culture whenever they see any critique of the social dynamic that conveys the privileges they guard and treasure. And it’s total bullshit.

Critiquing thin privilege is not thin-shaming. The vast majority of those who claim it is prize their thin privilege and will fight to retain it, even at the cost of a system that oppresses, hurts, and kills fat people.

Critiquing sexist beauty standards and objectification is not shaming people who participate in them. The vast majority of those who claim it is prize the rewards conveyed by beauty privilege and don’t want to have to think more deeply about how the beauty culture that grants them privileges might disprivilege others. 

Critiquing diet culture is not shaming dieters. The only people who claim it is are people who want to believe their ‘hard work’ in achieving some level of thin privilege has some kind of real moral value, akin to learning a new skill, producing a work of art, completing a work of charity, earning a degree, etc.

This whole “$PRIVILEGE_X-shaming!” movement is little more than a manifestation of privilege denial. 

And can I just note it’s hilarious and typical of the diet-culture mindset that a dieter made Amanda’s awesome post — about how her fat ‘before’ body is her ‘after’ body — about them, with this dieter wringing their hands over how subverting the power of the before and after photo will divest them of their dieter privilege?

News to dieters: You’ve been lied to. You never had a ‘before’ body, and you don’t have an ‘after’ body. Sorry you’re pissed that some of us aren’t going to buy into the mythology of ‘after’ bodies being magically better than all the fatty ‘befores.’

And I’m not going to shed a single fucking tear over the fact that you can’t see how demanding we preserve your before/after weight loss mythology is inherently oppressive. 

-ArteToLife

stophatingyourbody:

1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…” Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds?” You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.
2. Judging Other People’s Clothes While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style.The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.
3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.
4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.
5. Making Up Body Parts We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.
6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment.
7. Using Pretend Compliments “You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting, so also out the door are, “Does this make me look fat?” and “I look so fat!” when you are a size 2.
8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.
9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?
10. Playing Dietitian If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?
(taken from http://www.ivillage.com/guilty-15-ways-we-body-shame-without-knowing)

stophatingyourbody:


1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…” 

Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds?” You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.

2. Judging Other People’s Clothes 
While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style.The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.

3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing 
The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.

4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”
Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.

5. Making Up Body Parts 
We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.

6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight 
You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment.

7. Using Pretend Compliments 
“You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting, so also out the door are, “Does this make me look fat?” and “I look so fat!” when you are a size 2.

8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines 
One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.

9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines 
A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?

10. Playing Dietitian 
If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?

(taken from http://www.ivillage.com/guilty-15-ways-we-body-shame-without-knowing)

dvdsnjcb:

Tomorrow I will be mobile once again! This guy will always be in my heart. ❤️ #RIP #gonebutnotforgotten #Volvo #s40i #nofilter

dvdsnjcb:

Tomorrow I will be mobile once again! This guy will always be in my heart. ❤️ #RIP #gonebutnotforgotten #Volvo #s40i #nofilter